sick sabotage
Its hard not believe that fate/someone/etc, is trying to tell me something.
The first time I have planned on dates, two first dates in a weekend and a spoken word event with some of my favorite sexy writers, I get sick. Last time I tried was the beginning of October
Yesterday I was so deathly ill I could barely get out of bed. I waited until 2pm to tell her it was off, I was still faintly hoping I would feel ok enough to go.
Todays supposed to be spoken word with the guy I’ve been talking to. He has offered to come bring me tea. So perhaps he will wind up coming over here to see me in my sickly glory. Im not sure what I think about that. Sweet for sure, but that big of a gesture so soon after talking? Makes me worry about co-dependent qualities…
Im still sick and not about to travel into the city in the evening.
What a weekend of disappointment. I was so excited for this big hoorah for my last weekend before class starts.
It does feel like the worlds against me dating. Maybe life will wind up surprising me.
An Update: Life does give some surprises. The woman I mentioned, she sent a sweet feel better text today. The guy, he picked me up for a bit and we drove around while he took pictures. Something where we could meet but it would be easy on me. He is cute and funny but so much shorter than me that I feel like I giant.
Then as he dropped me off I saw the girl in my building thats been making me swoon. I jumped for it and wound up with her number.. and she offered sundays or tuesday as her days off when she hangs around napping so I should come over for a drink. Though I know the least about her, she makes my heart jump the most..
This feels like some parallel universe for me. I have never in my life been talking to flirting/planning dates with 3 people at once. I am completely monogomous. And typically its only one person of potential interest at a time. I guess I am trying to keep my doors open, my mind and heart open. For now it means going on introductory dates with a few people at once.
